Life's Residue

I am at a loss for what is no more
I am in an overcast acquiescence
I don't understand happiness

I tried to build mine of bricks and mortar
I am a hemophiliac allergic to my own juice
Suffocating gurgling blood
Horrible misbegotten truth

There is the gift here
It starts with the freedom to be no more

It insidiously threads strength
Amongst the fibers of my body
It is a codification of muscle

It is a metamorphosis out of fragility
But we the initiated cry morose tears

I am upstairs going downstairs
My destiny is to walk out in the mud
We are in the grains of time
The water has sutured us in muck
What was is moist and sticky now
My veins are clogged
And something is lost