Changeful Storm: I Can - November 30, 2010

Changeful Storm: I Can - November 30, 2010

The Space Between Thoughts

When there is an interlude between thoughts
I am at the heart of being
At first it seemed only like a sliver of time
But after a while I swam in the silk
And I let go of the precipice
Of thought forms
I backstroked into the gulf of what is

I am in the maelstrom of existence
My eyes roll back into my head
I feel dizzy as the blood in my eyes
Washes down my face
I am beyond caring
I am conscious
I am out of the daily transactions

Such relief
I look around at all the doing
And my head is spinning in the vortex
And I am not insane
Everything is a priori with a dash
Of cause and effect
As I bleed into the in between

Hidden Dimensions

We live in a pulsating universe
The pulse of thought is the known
Outside the pulse silhouette
The vast unknown thrives in the oblivion
My existence is there
The downbeat out of time is the magic
My heart is fired by this soft blue

My sail is filled with the night
My existence sails between the pulses
I am enlivened between the thoughts
There is so much energy in consciousness
The tumult fills my sail
I live on the surface
The ethereal is my home

The door to heaven is through the downbeat
My journey has been arduous
The pain has burnt my soul
Death has been in my embrace
As we kissed I was sucked
Back into consciousness
And now I sail the blue sea

The Universe Looking At Itself

There is a symbiosis of looking
There is a web work of reciprocal vision
The universe is looking at itself
In the give and take of a thousand eyes
Species to Species
Physical phenomena to physical phenomena
There is a cosmic vision of what is

Our vision is only one aspect of the whole
There are threads of sight
That add dimension to the whole
There is clarity beyond what is
A rock with pressure and time turns
Into transparent crystal
We are adrift in vast seas of seeing

My vision is moving into the ethereal
I am afraid of the consciousness
I know I should embrace it
It's just that I desire death
Rather than metamorphosis
My fear is that which ever path I sail
I will drift into the same eddy

Roses And Barbs

Thorns and barbs both tear the skin
Love interestingly enough spills red
How does this web work hem my cage
This prison is an abomination
The red petals are the texture of your lips
There are barbs behind and in the iridescent red
And your kiss sips my blood

I fell into the mesh
I lay there in the quiescence
The metal thorns permeated my skin
My epidermis was in symphonic pain
To move my weight fired more pain
I lay there a long time
My blood scabbed

My mind was in limbo
There were thoughts of your softness
There was knowledge and pain at my cudgel
I was lost in time
I wanted help
Yet the pain elevator wouldn't stop
And the pain was my friend

Mystical Flower

The saxophone cried a sad tune
There were tears on the flower's skin

There was passion tucked into the folds
The blue petals leaked tears
And my heart was into the sunset
Radiant blue spilled from my veins
And I had no room to live

The electric rhyme fired

The horns and drums were in dissident discord
My heart filled the threshold of loneliness
The music demands conclusion
My shirt had droplets of blue spatter
And it was time to be comfortable in the sprawl
And I faded into transcendence

I fear I am dreaming
I fear morning will come again
I fear the malaise will not be enough
That my strength will sustain me
That God will prohibit me
That the violence done to me was not enough
That I will live with the dream

Wings Of Transendence

My heart is on the wind
I am in the transition of the nexus
I have crossed into the no more
I am already working with my wings
My direction is in the tail feathers
My passion is floating into fruition
I am so done with what was

It's just that I am stuck in transition
How can I already be in my destiny
What is this place of no more
That pulls me back to was
What have I left undone
Why am I burning in the flames
Of transition

There does seem to be an absence

Of measured justice
It is just that I am not in that business
Besides what placation
Is relegated for the victimized
I don't want an eye for an eye
I just want to leave destiny's table

I Don't Mind What Happens

Oscillation between past and future
An interesting machination
Or for me all that there is
I am dizzy and weak with the transition
I am so damaged to arrive here
I can't even take stock of why I'm here
My presence does not have a past or a future

I wonder if I close my eyes and drift
Whether I will be able to disseminate
In a waking consciousness
The difference that guided me before
I am fearful of living only in the now
What if there is no past or future
What if presence is the only permeation

I need to harden my resolve
I have arrived on the back of eagles
I have acheived my destiny
I am a spiritual warrior of balance
And I know I have been through the obstacles
It's reasonable to be in the second guess
It is my time to inhale the power

Indecision

This is not my cross to bare
Yet I have shared a table with the likes of
I have vicariously lived the conundrum
I have seen the transition between night and day
And I will validate his suffering is a journey
Into the darkest corner of hell
Yet I clasp my bleed

We were boys together
In another dimension of time
We had the dream of happiness
We both struggled for a better world
We were different and the same
Yet we stood by each other
And now we are codependent

When does a label usurp
Half a century of relationship
When does the tying of co and dependent
Mean the end
When does support and love
Argue for evisceration
When does something good become bad

This Is How I Want To Kiss You

I want extraterrestial passion
I only want to live in between thought
I want the exuberance of consciousness
I want a woman who will throw her self
With me into the unknown
I want the creativity of the abyss
I want this moment only to be alive

I live for the fire in my soul
It's just that I can't burn
Without the kindling of your love
I can't smoke into the transcendental
I need the essence of you
I need your breasts on my chest
I need your breath in my mouth

And I am afraid to go to sleep
Because you are not in my embrace
And I am falling through the slats
In times abyss
I don't even have to look
Into the rocks of oblivion
To know of my shattered bones

Hephaestus

God of fire
Stood silhouetted in the sun
Muscles and tendons lost in the music
His body undulating in the rippling heat
His dance is dynamic

His passion is together
His juice of existence is hinged on a rivet

Red hot metal pulled from the molten

Hephaestus hammers it out on the anvil
He made it lighter and stronger
It was this hammer that molded Achilles armour
It was his craft that was responsible for
Hector's death
It was his disconnect which validated

The war toys seemed trivial
At the time
But I was in blood choking pain
I cried for Hector's wife and child
I watched as Achilles' chariot
Dragged Hector's body to the beach
And I hated Hephaestus

When Life Is Fractured

When one comes to a place
When one looks back over the gestalt

When the sum is more than the parts
The light of existence transcends
Beauty rushes in and out of your heart
The journey seems validating
But I live in a world of the disenfranchised

But these are the cosmological synthesises
That transcend into universal harmony
And I am riding the comet's tail
And the probability is that I will be dashed
Into the dust of oblivion
Like those that have been before
I solute you as I join your ranks

I have joined the ranks of the cosmic warriors
These are spirits who have mostly come and gone
As is my destiny

But we fly through the heavens in the moment
We are there in the moment
We exist for you
We are you

I Want More Than Ever

Since the beginning we have been blanketed in ice
Sometimes chunks have been kicked into the sea
These transitional rocks have sunk ships
On their way to the dissolve

What if time had already come and gone
What if they had already morphed to water
How much pain would not exist

Life is so transitional
Our beings are also the metamorphosis
Everything is fluid
We are something else with the intent
To become something else
We should understand
The ever change

Even love evolves
People change
Values evolve into something else
This is the norm
Those who won't or can't change
Are the dysfunctional
They are the physics of anarchy

Love Under The White Roses

Love is illusive in my existence
I see it in the distance still
White roses and kisses
Sail across time
Yet it is all out of my reach
There are no flowers that don't wilt
And beaks peck rather than meld

Love just stops for the disenfranchised
Our sail just doesn't fly
Our kite is snagged in the power lines
Our access to beauty
Is in the gnarled
It is something for the white doves
It is alien in my heart

The white lightning illuminates my room
The flow up thunder shakes my resolve
And I can feel the palpitation of no more
Pure love and doves are no more
They belong to the franchised
I am nostalgic and envious
I am no more

Finally At Transition

I am a creature lost in transition
The window of existence
Keeps me in the nether land

I live in the oscillation
Where is the magic
How do I get off the fly paper
I don't want to die here

Many calamities have I traversed
There have been victory dances
It's just that I have been lost a long time
I have almost forgotten
What it feels like to be full in my heart
I even question my past satiation
Was I ever full in my heart

What is this lament
What is this ache in my being
Is this love lost
Why would I have ever tried
The risk is so great
Do I want to recapitulate
Or should I live in a new dimension

Transcendental Woman

A woman in nature
An audacity swaddled in charm
There is such knowing sitting on her lip
The guise is perfect
She is masked in her sameness
There is a part of me that
Is simply lost in the smoke and mirrors

I don't know what it is
When I encounter a women like this
Time was I could wear my caviler
And my armour would protect
Now there is no prevention
The serpent merely leaves with the egg
And I am lucky to have survived

I want her too much
I am afraid of my desire
I try to charm her with my flute
There is fear in my heart
I want to live
The thunder rumbles a long time after the light
Yet she brings the long good-bye

I Am A Moon Child

It's a night morning of rain
The rain isn't going anywhere
It is gently caressing the loneliness
It is consistently unstoppable
I am listening for the end
Which my heart hopes never arrives
I swing in the purpose music

I feel the symphonic passion
I am a jug full of emotional existence
My wings want to exercise the wind
Yet I nestle into patient acquiescence
The rain demand only harmonic balance
It is time demanding a different time
But I am in the passion of the fly

I want to spend the energy to get high
I want to dive into the horizon
I want the wind in my feathers
I want my heart to thrive
And when the rain stops
I want to exercise my passion
I want the sun in my feathers and in my heart

Bones And Transition

Sometimes in the night a thief comes
And steals away the tiniest of things
But size is not any reflection of magnitude
It is only after the violation that there is dimension
It is only after our bones have been picked clean
That importance eviscerates our heart
That we stand in the sand and the wind blows

Depth and the for granted sets in
There is cold breathing on our bodies
We are mortified at the loss
We wonder about the complicity
Our own intelligence of trust victimizing
And our understandings are on fire
We are faint in the reality

Our we insane
Do we not notice the dimension of reality
Do our hearts require the wrecking ball
What happens after the blood letting ooze
Can there be more
Is there such a thing as reconstitution
Will the building blocks reconfigure differently

Life's Residue

I am at a loss for what is no more
I am in an overcast acquiescence
I don't understand happiness

I tried to build mine of bricks and mortar
I am a hemophiliac allergic to my own juice
Suffocating gurgling blood
Horrible misbegotten truth

There is the gift here
It starts with the freedom to be no more

It insidiously threads strength
Amongst the fibers of my body
It is a codification of muscle

It is a metamorphosis out of fragility
But we the initiated cry morose tears

I am upstairs going downstairs
My destiny is to walk out in the mud
We are in the grains of time
The water has sutured us in muck
What was is moist and sticky now
My veins are clogged
And something is lost

A Way Station

On the way between here and there
There is a stopping place
A roof which cuts into the abyss
The sunset cauterizes the artery wounds
Movement is painful
Those of us who have been mutilated
Hope for what was

I live in the amber of pumpkin
Destiny is not a place of confusion
I do not need to tread with caution
It is not necessary to take a number
I am not a second guesser
I know what's untenable
And the pain in my heart is my demise

The leaves are in the fall
They crunch under my tread
The droplets of crimson red
Blot the leaves
I am lying in their midst
When the blood turns brown
And like their acquiescence mine is resolution

Death Is Everything

A dead molar still reflecting its bite
How does it exist without its neurons
When there is no more life
Does structure remain
Or does it break and chip away
Can it still break the nut
Of existence

What do I care for the meat
I live for the moment
Of reductionism
I spin in the drain of no more
The fear of the unknown
Pales by the light of the known
The teeth are crushing me

My blood drips on the rocky gums
I vicariously feel the warm ooze
Yet the blood in the teeth
Is warm and filling gums to overflow
And blood runs into my beard
And bathes the jungle with the life giving
As it dries I die

Our Lives Blot Out The Horizon

When I squint my eyes
What I see in reality is different
This is a portal into another world
When I think about the life's pulsation
I am mystified by what's in between
But there is a sea of consciousness in between
And I can swim here so long as my mind is not thinking

My job is to shut down the thinking
My passion is to splash into the conscious
My intelligence is in the harmony between thoughts
I live in the back wash
There is an undercurrent here
I am being pulled spiraling into existence
I have reached the metamorphosis

My body is in the water of consciousness
I am in the float of acceptances of the universe

My being is housed in a bubble
Which floats into the depth of transcendent life
My conventions are not what they were
I am relaxed into the suspension
I am warmed by love

The White Light Of Pain

It radiates across the sky
There is a ringing in my ears
It is a harbinger of spiraling decline
Yet everyone goes on with their affairs
There is no parent to make it better
Its destiny is to resolve
To fall into the sea

The light threads my heart
On it's way to oblivion
I feel the inextricable pull
But I am fortified by
The promise of effervescence
Of your radiance
Such soothing nectar

My muscles are soothed
As the suave of you permeate
My wiry existence
Yet I live in the alone
I thrive in the ware out
Yet you so remind me
Of the brick and mortar of me

My Heart Lives

My breath flows into the flute
And with magical metamorphosis
Is turned into reflective gentle music
It flows in and out of the eddies
We are sanguine and at ease
My connection is with God
I know what it's like to sail into heaven

I have been there before
How is it that I could hear the call
How is it I can breathe the nostalgia
How is it that my chest swells
With the knowledge of the prodigal son
I come home after conquest
I have completed the pain of the quest

It's just that it is so overwhelming
Please the pain is too great
Maybe I care too much
What is your purpose
I can't have my heart crushed again
This maze of existence
Is cocooning and suffocating my heart

My Heart Is Burning With The Forest

When my end arrives I hope I am bathed in gold
I want the zest of autumn firing my being
I want the leaves fluttering in the wind
The golden hues need to be reflected on the river
I want to hear the rustle of the leaves
In the trees' canopy
I want the coolness of the sunset

The fates know of my pain
They have been instrumental
They have produced the cacophony
That is the music of my life
I bare no grudge
But I request a moment in time
I want to hear the leaves crunch at life's edge

But feel free to deny me this too
I have resolved to be kind
To be a compassionate human being
No matter what is put on my plate
If you need to test me
I'm at your disposal
My rasion d'etre is perseverance

Love On A Rainey Day

You slumber in effervescent sleep
I'm sitting next to some loving flowers
In the window writing love rhymes
You momentarily wake
See me and are comforted back to sleep
I am warmed by our unconscious
Acknowledgement of each other

I remember last night's spoon
I remember being frisky with you
I remember my palms brushing
Your nipples
I remember the warmth in my heart
Those thirteen years ago
And I remember getting in the car

You shared with me that morning
Your infidelity
You said it was a pity fuck
I drove for the next seventeen hours
The bill is coming due
I had lost my wife and children
And I am opting for no more pain

Community In Yellow

The community is in my environs
They sing and consider
They live near a lemon tree
Their wings flutter
And it is so weird
To consider that they do not care
About me

I listen to the in between
They talk to me between the flutter
I know what they are saying
There are questions
That they articulate
They are intelligence
That communicate

Yet they live on there own
There is no commingling
There is a radical disconnect
They are part of the scenery more than else
Why are they relegated to the dim
Would that I cared
Would that are beings were one

Through The Bones

There are remnants of what was
These skeletons of the past lay in the clutter
They know of history gone by
I am always sad to know of the forget
Yet my mind looks mostly to the horizon
I wonder if there will be anybody
To take a moment and consider


Soon our bones will bleach in the sun
They may have a story of life
What will it be
Would anyone care to know the sequences
Is it a story about life and death
Or are we able to sweep it into the anomie box
I wonder if the lapping ocean cares

I am concerned that ocean is unconcerned
The fruits of existence are marginalized
But there was harmony and balance here once
Life has been trivialized
Existence meant something of importance
It's just without meaning now
Maybe my existence is without

A Sea Of Metamorphosis

The sea of colors bleed into each other
And a wave wants to roll
It's just that it is more viscus

It is different in context
It is a new avant guarde

The eyes find it breath taking
My heart is in a swoon

Are the fish being swollen in sugar
Are ships' propellers clogged with butterscotch
Am I alive in a Christmas story
Can I die in this dream
I think I could
What an exciting convocation

For my tombstone

My eye lids are sticky
My gluttony seems over the top
And pastry is on the horizon
Is this a diabetic hysteria
Wouldn't it be something to live
In a world of oceans of sugar
Turvy would supersede Topsy

That's My Emerald Bed

I live in the emerald green hue
I am at the transition of tomorrows world
This world is almost into the no more
I will walk the streets for a few more days
I'll watch people in the sun with destiny
I will see their worldly places
And I will feel their knowing comfort

Yet I will know that I am almost no longer
The goodbye is almost here
I am anxious to be moving into the emerald
The green seems almost cathartic
To begin again
To wipe the slate clean
I imagine for some that would be difficult

But the amount of human muck
Has left me with a sour mouth
And there just isn't enough mouth wash

Imagining using the same apparatus again
Is unfathomable to me
It is enough that I would risk it again
Actually it would be nice to opt out

A Quiescent Truth

The posts are in the water
There is an illusive structure
But the post are well secured
It is as if they were part of something
Once upon a time gone by
It's just at this time there would be diminishment
Without them

I want a tall glass of water
As I consider their balance and harmony
I try to visualize why they were put here
I think they did serve a reason of purpose
But my mind only sees the harmony in the moment
And my heart only sings a quiescent melody
I hear and feel a sweet flute in the distance

There Is Light At The Edge Of Time

When the sun's light assumes all importance
When it transcends all else
When there is no time left
When it's ray's burn life into existence
When the plants we consume
Feed on the sunlight
We are connected to the Divine

I am waiting in the predawn
I am waiting for the sunrise
I want existence to begin
I want to step into the morning
I want the nurture on my face
I want the radiation on my face
I want to feel alive in the winter morning

I want to be warm in my morning existence
I want to be fortified against the harshness
Of the day's existence
This is the first step of my transcendence
I am going home to my embrace
And it doesn't matter
That there isn't more

Life In The Reflection

I want to step out of the reflection
My heart can't handle the net in this other world
Even if I must live with Achilles in the after world
There is no place I would rather be
I have known the treachery
Of love's disappointment
And I have lived the madness

And I can't recover
I am lost in the oblivion
The treachery of my wife and children
Have me on my way to death
I'm sure they still argue
'They did what they had to'
And I must do what I have to

But this is way more than a dispute
This is life and death
And soon it will be over for me
There will be no more reflection
When I look for my image in the mirror
I won't be there
My heart is in the ground

Jonah And A Whale Of A Tale

I feel like I'm being digested
That the world above this grotto
Doesn't exist for me any longer
There was so much
I lived in the land of plenty
I had it all
And now all I can do is
Look out the window

Sometimes now when I dream
I remember and miss
I wonder what I did to justify this
Almost like actions have causes
Yet I don't remember
And even if I could contrive labels
There is no difference to be had
There is only the acid of digestion

What is it to live in a bottom feeder's belly
What is it to have my substance dissolved
In a murky sub existence
What if I could provide an explanation
What if there was a rational protocol
I think I'm dreaming again
Sometimes dreams are what's left
They are the transition into something else

It's Coming Apart

The ocean and my blood are petrified
Sliver's break out of what was
In the sun they are liquefied again
It's just that there is nothing in the present
I close my eyes and a wave
Of unconsciousness submerges me
I drift in a sea of absence

I am submerged in a patience
There is no need for life
I had that once
And I am overwhelmed
And pained by it
As my blood lives in the freeze
There is no time soon for reprise

I am alone now
But I can feel the cries of the dead
My ship is on the way to the bottom
I live for the moment in an air bubble
In the crash settle
I am cold and in my shiver
I am afraid and in acquiescence

I Love Your Heart

I live in the complexion of your shadow
I feed on your warmth
I adore the fullness of your breast
We are apart but inextricably together
We are looking in opposite directions
With cavalier nonchalance
But our focus matters as much as our love

We exist against the sun and the clouds
I can feel the pulse of your heart
And I love our harmony and cadence
And my beat caresses yours
I can feel your breath in sync

With mine
And you steal my breath away

I know the dream of this
I know the pain of this
I know the truth of this
And I want to fall out of the sky
Because the dream was just a dream
Yet I surreptitiously continue to look
I loved you that much

Aloof And Ethereal

Nordic Viking warrior
Harsh and distant

Withdrawn and severe
Penetrating eyes branding my soul
I would like to know the warmth
And compassion of her lips
A woman who is combustible

How is it that a woman like this
Radiates abiding strength
How is it that a woman like this
Turns my muscle into armour
My strength is unbounded
There is no ice
That won't melt in her wake

It is invigorating in this coalescence
I am worried about how strong I feel
My need for compassion
Is veiled by my ego
I can already see the seeds
Of ego destruction
Acknowledging ego does not control it

There Is Fire In My Belly

There is such a huge response
To the nature of existence
In my soul
I can feel the rumbling indigestion
Life is explosively beyond
My heart's pale
There is a majesty and vibrancy
That dwarfs my being

Yet my existence is not without
The intensity of ravenous dimension
I can feel the tumult
In and out of my being
I am in the throws of the tsunami
The hair follicles are being ripped from
My epidermis
I am not in control

Yet there is resolution
I can opt out
Or I can become
The maelstrom
I can let the reality into my heart
I can hold on to the reins of existence
And I can ride into the fiery sky
I can transcend it

I Can Feel The Distant Warmth

I am close to being vacuumed into the horizon
The distant warmth radiates across my shoulder blades
When I close my eyes I oscillate into gentle warmth
I spiral up
I am on top of the earth
There is no anchor
There is only the helium of the after life

I am almost baked
I've been checked with the tooth pick probe
I'm in the adjudication of the transition
I'm almost at the reconstitution
My cells are disconfigured
The sun is breathing me up
This is where I'm at

I've lived my life long
I have adjudicated between right and wrong
There has been a commingling of good and bad
I am satiated and full
I live at the edge of satiation and indigestion
The key is balance
I've had just enough I don't need more

Lost

I live in the horror of it's over
I can't abide
I can't come back
Large amounts of time waft past
And I am stupefied
I just know this is not the way it was designed
My heart was not supposed to turn to stone

Why has my heart stopped
Why is there no warmth to melt the snow
Why are my cells rigid
Why can't I adapt
What kind of throw back am I
Is this a mental dysfunction
And why does the hurt never stop

Will I die sitting up
Will my cramped legs support me again
Can my lungs warm the oxygen in my chest
Is there really hope
Do I want another dream
Where do I come down in the dialectic
Is it love or death