I am a member of a very private clubI have had my children taken from me
They have both forsaken me for their mother
The pain of this place is unbearable
And for more than a decade I have survived this
And try as I might I don't understand
Finally I choose deaths embrace
It all remains unbelievable to me
The joy that was mine has been dashed into the rocks
The purpose and meaningfulness that clutched my heart
Is no more
The only conclusion available to me is that
I am responsible for this
Yet I don't know how this happened
Even though the finger nails rake my chest
And the blood drips to my side
The pain has become unbearable
And I am on my knees
And rationalize as I have done
The fact is I have lost my joy
The joy that was mine has been dashed into the rocks
The purpose and meaningfulness that clutched my heart
Is no more
The only conclusion available to me is that
I am responsible for this
Yet I don't know how this happened
Even though the finger nails rake my chest
And the blood drips to my side
The pain has become unbearable
And I am on my knees
And rationalize as I have done
The fact is I have lost my joy
My last hope is for oblivion
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