I Am Barely Alive In The Milieu

Now and then
Now I am still alive
Not for much longer
I have made the transition to no more
I have achieved the transcendence of the last season
I have lived through my last spring time
I am so unbreakable

People think this is a time of quiet desperation
They think of suicide as a last frantic moment
But there is no fearful moment
There is no acquiescence in the end
There is only getting on with it
The hard part of it wondering if I will have courage
But I have always been a warrior

And I hunger for it
I need the resolution
I have experience it all
And I have found it wanting
The days repeat endlessly
And I can taste the blood on my lips
I know the difference between desperation and intention